he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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