why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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