I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
