don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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