I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
