How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
