It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
