I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
