so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
