Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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