if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
