Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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