Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
