My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize