So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
