you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
