hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
dude i'm inner monologue high
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
