I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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