Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize