Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
