yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
