he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
