So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize