I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
