Your face is a jimmy john
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
