Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
