Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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