Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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