I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
