Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize