kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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