sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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