Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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