I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
