Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
