Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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