So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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