4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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