I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
