Quick, to the slutcave!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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