It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
