I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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