Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
