I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
