this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
