The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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