He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
