Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
