Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
