Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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