Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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