I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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