how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
