Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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