I'm lost and stupid without you.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
