hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Quick, to the slutcave!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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