I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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